Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
