are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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