Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Blow job season was short but glorious.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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