Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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