when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just found a bag of teeth...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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