i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just pee around me
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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