why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
