The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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