Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
