If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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