Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just puked most of my soul out..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
