Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
