I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
