whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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