break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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