you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
This is the high leading the old right now
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
