Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
