Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
