at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
