But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
