She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just googled if crying burns calories
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
