If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
