Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Who died my cat blue again?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
