I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
