i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
