I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
