Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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