We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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