Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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