He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
