There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
