They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
