i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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