honey bunches of taint.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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