Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
