took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
