everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
