Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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