I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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