I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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