i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
