my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All the doctor said was why
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
