just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
