addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
