Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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