fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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