Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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