I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
