hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
