Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
