Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
