Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
