It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dear god my vagina.
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