So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
