Sry I called you an 8
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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