Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
