it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
