Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize