How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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